I can’t be the guy I’ve always dreamt I would be.
I’m not funny enough,
I’m not spontaneous,
like my enemies cursed me with inertia.
Weakness seems to overwhelm me,
my fears grow larger and choke my faith.
This girl made me feel heroic,
like I was her knight in shining armour.
She made love to me,
underneath her pink scented sheets.
I would wake up so alive,
my dreams seemed to come alive,
I felt stronger, for a moment I was ‘the man’.
I fell in love with her…
She was my hope in the hopelessness,
she was my pride amidst the weakness,
it was more than her affection and the crazy sex.
The ride was wild, so unpredictable,
never did I know what would happen next.
The pink sheets were scented,
the shower was running,
I could hear “shakitibobo” playing,
very much like her.
She would be out very soon in her white short towel,
droplets of water on her clean soft skin…
her soap or shampoo,
one of them smelled like bubblegum,
it turned me on.
Then we would have crazy sex,
I pictured it all in my head.
But out she was…
in the arms of another,
the kind of man I always wanted to be,
the kind I thought she found in me,
she wasn’t sad, she didn’t cry,
she didn’t try to fake it,
what we had was just “a thing”.
My poor heart couldn’t take it,
my mind, couldn’t fathom it,
my brain, it wasn’t functioning,
her face, it wasn’t helping,
his arms, very much around her.
I walked away…
To fall in love,
never again.